Tuesday, February 28, 2006


I haven't had much to say lately, I've been too busy or distracted. So that's the reason for the last four or so posts have been videos.

I did post on another blog today about a great song I wanted to share with everyone... Listen to the song and follow along with the lyrics. Its very moving.
Latin lesson for today:
Heus, hic nos omnes in agmine sunt! (Hey, we're all in line here!)

Monday, February 27, 2006

Feminine hygiene

Come sing along with me to the feminine hygiene song!! *dance*

(I changed this post because the crash was getting annoying)

I'm going to help you all learn a little latin on each post from now on..
Latin lesson for today: Audio, video, disco (I hear, I see, I learn)

Friday, February 24, 2006

Canadian Army

Sorry to all my Canadian friends... I'm not really sure if this is the Canadian Army, but it's just too funny not to share LOL

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Thursday, February 23, 2006


I found this online flash game with Domo!!... it's an odd little critter and an entertaining little game LOL... check it out!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Karaoke for the deaf

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Monday, February 20, 2006

Abbott & Costello


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals and track expenses. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
COSTELLO: For my office?
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"............

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Fun with Dick Cheney

Trust me when I say I'm not into politics (hell I had to make sure I spelled the word right), but some things are just too good to pass up... Who else in the U.S. could have gotten away with it?

I think this bumper sticker sums it all up very nicely :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

I wrote this poem for someone very special to me... I hope she enjoys it :)

I hope you all enjoy it too! (click on the heart)

Happy Valentines Day!!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Wierd city names

Ever live in a town like Blondy, Tennessee and think... Wow, this town's name sure is weird!? Well I bet that you're wrong!

Here's a sample of some other "Unusual City Names" (and a lake):

Intercourse, Alabama (I wonder what they do there for fun?)
De Queen, Arkansas
Fifty-six, Arkansas
Bummerville, California
Zzyzx, California
Punta Gorda, Florida (Spanish for "Fat Ass")
Climax, Georgia (YAY!!)
French Lick, Indiana (Ummm, I'm moving there!!)
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg Lake, Massachusetts
Wyckoff, New Jersey
Lesbia, New Mexico
Horneytown, North Carolina
Satans Kingdom, Rhode Island
Fairy, Texas (YEEE HAWWW)
Latexo, Texas
Tarzan, Texas
Waldo, Wisconsin (there he is GET HIM!!)

Sexsmith, Alberta, Canada (Hmmmmm)
Dildo, Newfoundland
Bastard, Ontario
Batman, Batman, Turkey
Fucking, Austria
Lickey End, Worcestershire, England, United Kingdom
Pussy, Savoie, Rhône-Alpes, France
Dunedoo, New South Wales, Australia (it means outhouse!!)

And my favorite...
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Anglesey, Wales

Which is the probably the third longest named city in the world!
(click on the link above to see the city in Thailand that is 163 letters long, because there's no way in hell I'm typing it!!)

WHEW... ok I'm tired of typing... *falls over*

Saturday, February 11, 2006


It's kind of cheesy, but I think its a catchy tune...

This is a flash version of the song Pervert is by Nerf Herder, check out some of the other extras they have on their website


Friday, February 10, 2006

More Church funnies

There was a church that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, (if you eat hem they make you pucker, because they are so sour) and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said, "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday."

Thursday, February 9, 2006

Personal ad (old people still do it? Ewwwww)

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said,"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you....you have no legs!"

The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"

Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?"

With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said... "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

The 12 inch BIC lighter

An American goes into a bar and sits down next to an English guy.

The American notices that the English guy has a huge BIC lighter.

The American says, "Wow cool lighter, where did you get it?"

The english guy says, "A genie granted me one wish when I rubbed this bottle".

"Wow", says the American, "Can I have a go?"

"Sure", Says the Englishman.

The american rubs the bottle and the genie comes out, "You have one wish" Says the genie.

The American wishes for a million bucks, the genie grants the wish.

About 5 minutes later a load of ducks come into the bar, there are thousands of them.

The American says "I don't believe this I wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks".

The englishman says "Well do you really think i wished for a 12 inch BIC?".

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Sleeping in Church

A man approached the minister at his church....

"Reverend," he said, "We have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What can I do?"

"I've noticed this and have an idea if you're up to the task," said the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg with the hat pin."

In church the following Sunday, Mrs.. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said nodding to Mr. Jones.

"Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp hat pin.

"Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick reply.

Mrs. Jones then turned and glared angrily at her husband. Soon, Mrs. Jones again nodded off.

The minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones.

"My God!", howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin.

"Right again!", bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.

Mrs. Jones again gave her husband a real hard threatening glare. Before long, though, she again nodded off. This time however, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hat pin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted, "You stick that thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun don't shine!"

"Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation.

Monday, February 6, 2006


You ever get the feeling that you’re invisible?

I don’t mean the t-shirt that I once saw (and can’t seem to find again) that said something like:

One tequila = I’m happy
Two tequilas = you’re sexy
Three tequilas = I’m superman
Four tequilas = I’m invisible!!

I guess I could call today one of those days for me (not the tequila part). Just driving into work today was a chore, I can’t tell you how long I had my blinker on before I finally “eased over” into the lane as my exit was about to pass.

Every morning I say hi to my fellow co-workers, but today, I guess being Monday I didn’t say much… and well, it was returned in kind.

I’m invisible today and I guess it’s actually a good thing. No one to look at me dumbfounded that I know nothing about the “super bowl” or those outrageously expensive commercials from yesterday. I love being blond and seeing the look on someone’s face when I respond, “oh I love bowling!” But not today. I’ll just sit in my office and stare at the computer screen. Oh all the work I could accomplish LOL.

Sunday, February 5, 2006

The French

My aunt lives in France so for the most part I like French people, just not the attitude they give "foreigners"... so the following joke is really in jest only :P
(its those darn Canadians that are the trouble makers)

An American is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France."

Friday, February 3, 2006

Big dilemma

A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is having a problem with this cumbersome instrument and has had more than one complaint.

"Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there anything you can do for me?"

The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you." So the doctor gives him directions to the witch.

The man calls upon the witch and relays his story. "Witch, my penis is 25 inches long and I need help. Can anything be done to help me? You are my only hope."

The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I may be able to help you with your problem. Do this. Go deep into the forest. You will find a pond. In this pond, you will find a frog sitting on a log. This frog has magic. You say to frog, will you marry me? When the frog says no, you will find five inches less to your problem."

The man's face lit up and he dashed off into the forest. He called out to the frog, "Will you marry me?"

The frog looked at him dejectedly and replied, "NO."

The man looked down and suddenly his penis was 5 inches shorter. "WOW," he screamed out loud, "this is great!" But it was still too long at 20 inches, so he decided to ask the frog to marry him again.

"Frog, will you marry me?" the guy shouted.

The frog rolled its eyes back in its head and screamed back, "NO!"

The man felt another twitch in his penis, looked down, and it was another 5 inches shorter. The man laughed, "This is fantastic." He looked down at his penis again, 15 inches long, and reflected for a moment. Fifteen inches is still a monster, just a little less would be ideal. Grinning, he looked across the pond and yelled out, "Frog will you marry me?"

The frog looked back across the pond shaking its head, "How many times do I have to tell you? NO, NO, NO!!!"

Thursday, February 2, 2006

Fuggy Fuggy!

FUGGY FUGGY!!!! You'll laugh, you'll cry... you must watch Fuggy in his training to become... NINJA!!!


Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Weight Watchers!!

OK revenge time....

I cringed when I got this result, but it'll be oh so sweet to see what Karen & Kali get... I hate seafood!! but MUWAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAA

You are Fluffy Mackerel Pudding!! You somehow
manage to combine seafood and dessert into
your wonderfully fluffy world. We should all
be as tolerant of New Taste Sensations. And
of big-yolked eggs.

What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
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80's toy

ACK!!! Damn you Kali & Karen for making me take this quiz!!! *shake fist*!!

garbage pail kids
You're a Garbage Pail Kid!! You're dirty, foul,
disgusting, and wrong. But you're still
funny as hell.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
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