Are you shy?

I think a woman owns this club... see they are all evil!!!! LOL. Next thing you'll know they'll have prerecorded messages playing inside the can saying things like, "you can't call it shrinkage when its 80 degrees outside!"

Santa's letters

This is a followup blog from the Dear Santa letters from yesterday. This is what can happen to some of the letters that get to Santa - be warned!! LOL

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Dear Santa

deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're psycho.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa

P.S.

Tell your mom she got the part

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again..
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in
our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the
burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

Passing time

I found a couple of really cool sites:

The first of which is a film review site... the kicker is that all the films are summed up in four words or less! It's called Four Word Film Review (FWFR).

Here are some examples of reviews of the new Harry Potter movie:

Harry- a maze'in
Cedric becomes Deadric
Teacher has wandering pupil

Join and submit your own reviews - I will be soon!

The second site is called Found Magazine. People scan and post love letters, notes, lists, birthday cards, pictures, etc. that have been found and post it for the world to see!

I like this list made by a woman preparing for her vacation... its called groceries and sex - its nice to know that women think about it too LOL.

I had a third site, but I need to find the link and post it here later ;)

Evil Spam!!

I opened up my yahoo mail account today and much to my suprise, I was given a sure sign that spam is evil!! Six-six-six!! "Spam is da devil!!"

It's only been two days since I last cleared my bulk e-mail folder. I know I should set my account to automatically delete all spam, but I fear I may miss that rare message that comes from a friend which somehow is filtered as spam.

As scary as all this seems though, I know that salvation is just one click away. I can be purged of all my sinful spam that easily... Ahhhh the joys of being a spam free sinner, errrrr a sinner free spammer. Hmmm, maybe I should just stop compaining LOL.

---

Quote of the day: Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

Rocking Christmas Lights

Rocking Christmas lights OH MY!

The work put into this light show must have been pain-staking! But well worth watching the whole video! Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

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Personality type

AHHHHHHHhhhhhhh... Karen made me do this!!! I don't wanna be like her!!! *cry*

You Have A Type B+ Personality

B+ You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

MADD!

I woke up this morning with an idea for a wonderful new video game. Mostly I think, it’s just to torment Pete and his fear of midgets LOL.

The game begins with your character on the top floor of a building inside a nightclub. You're stinking drunk when you finally decide to stumble to your car parked right outside the entrance. You vaguely recall that when you first entered the club a midget bouncer took your keys at the door and he’s now waiting in the lobby with a few friends. Unfortunately, the elevator is now shut down, and somewhere in the building is a midget with an elevator key. But in the way are hundreds of angry midgets against drunk driving (MADD) who will slow your progress.

Since it's probably not a good idea to promote violence against midgets, your character can't just go around killing them. What you do have is a huge bag, sort of a "Santa sack" to stuff them into. If your bag gets too full, they escape and grab your ankles to make you move even slower. Luckily for you, somewhere on each floor is a mail chute that you can shove these kicking and screaming captured midgets into to clear the level.

Once you get the elevator key, it’s a quick ride to the lobby and the super boss midget. Hmmm does a super midget mean he’s normal sized? I’ll have to work on that a bit more LOL.

Maybe this game idea was also partially inspired by a fun little Santa game that I remember called elf bowling, now in its third version. Now if I can just convince someone to make this game.. YAY!!

Important message

Important public service announcement!! LOL
{*cough* pay attention Karen ;) *cough*}

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Shopping

I'm going shopping today and while I'm out I will continue my search for this illusive isle!! If only they had chocolate ice cream on the other side, I'd never leave!!!