Cakes and Ale

Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

"Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale".

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

Self Improvement Advice from the Devil

1. Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.
2. Half the people you know are below average.
3. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
4. 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
6. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
7. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
8. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
9. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
10. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
11. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
12. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
13. I intend to live forever……so far, so good.
14. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
15. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
16. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
17. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
18. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
19. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

Geek Band

I suck. I don't think I know what all of these game songs are in reference to, but I get pong, Tetris, Mortal Combat, Zelda (with some pokemon? *cough*) and of course Mario! I might have missed a couple... I can't tell LOL. Either way, Enjoy! :P

Vexing Vader

What? He seems like a boss with a sense of humor!

Don Liebert's Blog

LOL, Check out this guy's hilarious one liners :)

Well ok, some are a little longer :P