Friday, July 28, 2006

Under the Milky Way

(Church)

Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty
Sound of their breath fades with the light
I think about the loveless fascination
Under the Milky Way tonight

Lower the curtain down on Memphis
Lower the curtain down all right
I got no time for private consultation
Under the Milky Way tonight

Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find
Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find

And it's something quite peculiar
Something shimmering and white
Leads you here despite your destination
Under the Milky Way tonight

Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find
Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find

Under the Milky way tonight..
Under the Milky Way tonight...

Friday, July 21, 2006

SMS for Geeks

SMS (Text-Messaging) Shorthand for Geeks Using Server Response Codes (blatantly copied, but credited to Liz Revision for the original)

Instead of awkwardly typing on your phone’s keypad something to the extent of “cant find yr house” or “theyre charging a cover here at this venue,” try using server response codes!

200 = OK
The client’s request was successful, and the server’s response contains the requested data.

[FRIEND] hows the sushi ovr there?
[YOU] 200

or

[FRIEND] is it cool if i come over after work w/ a 6pack?
[YOU] 200

202 = Accepted
The request was accepted but not immediately acted upon. More information about the transaction may be given in the entity body of the server’s response. There is no guarantee that the server will actually honor the request, even though it may seem like a legitimate request at the time of acceptance.

[FRIEND] come to our party tonite. addy = 2143 hoyne apt4. theres a keg
[YOU] 202

204 = No Content
A status code and header is given in the response, but there is no entity body in the reply. Browsers should not update their document view upon receiving this response. This is a useful code for an imagemap handler to return when the user clicks on useless or blank areas of an image.

Use this one in place of “lame” or “nothing exciting here”

[FRIEND] how’s the music ovr there? djs start yet?
[YOU] 204

300 = Multiple Choices
The requested URI refers to more than one resource. For example, the URI could refer to a document that has been translated into many languages. The entity body returned by the server could have a list of more specific data about how to choose the correct resource.

[FRIEND] hey whats goin on tonite?
[YOU] 300

301 = Moved Permanently
The requested URI is no longer used by the server, and the operation specified in the request was not performed. The new location for the requested document is specified in the Location header. All future requests for the document should use the new URI.

[FRIEND] yo im heading ovr there now ok?
[YOU] 301: rodan

302 = Moved Temporarily
The requested URI has moved, but only temporarily. The Location header points to the new location. Immediately after receiving this status code, the client should use the new URI to resolve the request, but the old URI should be used for all future requests.

Use this one in place of “brb.”

[FRIEND] yo im heading ovr there now ok?
[YOU] 302

401 = Unauthorized
The result code is given along with the WW-Authenticate header to indicate that the request lacked proper authorization, and the client should supply proper authorization when requesting this URI again.

[FRIEND] were u able to get in without yr ID? or no?
[YOU] 401

402 = Payment Required
This code is not yet implemented in HTTP.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t use it over SMS!

[FRIEND] is it a free show 2nite or is there a cover?
[YOU] 402

403 = Forbidden
The request was denied for a reason the server does not want to (or has no means to) indicate to the client.

[FRIEND] i herd the show was sold out. did u get in?
[YOU] 403

or

[FRIEND] how’d it go last night with that new girl???
[YOU] 403

404 = Not Found
The document at the specified URI does not exist.

[FRIEND] is there any parking outside the place? did you find any?
[YOU] 404

or

[FRIEND] where teh frak r you??? weve been waiting for 2 hrs now…
[YOU] 404

or, [*advanced*] as an inverted request, signalling “i’m lost”:

[YOU] 404
[FRIEND] 2 blks n of armitage at dickens, 3rd bldng on right

405 = Method Not Allowed
This code is given with the Allow header and indicates that the method used by the client is not supported for this URI.

[FRIEND] can i bring my dogs to the theater?
[YOU] 405

406 = Not Acceptable
The URI specified by the client exists, but not in a format preferred by the client. Along with this code, the server provides the Content-Language, Content-Encoding, and Content-Type headers.

[FRIEND] sup doo000000d?? im bringin 2 transvestites and some bondage gear to yr party tonite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAWK on!
[YOU] 406

409 = Conflict
This code indicates that the request conflicts with another request or with the server’s configuration. Information about the conflict should be returned in the data portion of the reply.

[FRIEND] can you meet me @ 4:30 @ filter today?
[YOU] 409: dentist appt

410 Gone
This code indicates that the requested URI no longer exists and has been permanently removed from the server.

[FRIEND] what happend to that cute roomate you had?
[YOU] 410

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Blonde Calculus?

Is there such a thing as a blonde in calculus class? Well there was one!! Lets see how this problem got solved on this quiz:


This example reads, as x approaches zero, the limit of the function of 8 divided by x approaches infinity.

Quiz question:


And how did the blonde's answer? Click here

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

TAGR

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Chad Vader - Episode 1

I will NOT tolerate this insolence!!!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Fixing Computers

At first this sign is funny... but then when you actually think about it... *SHUDDER* LOL

Thursday, July 13, 2006

GO NAVY!!



The USS Constitution (Old Ironsides) as a combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators.

However, let it be noted that according to her log, "On July 27, 1798, the USS Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."

Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping." Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.

Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchantmen, salvaging only the rum aboard each.

By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn.

Then she headed home.

The USS Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February, 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whisky and 38,600 gallons of stagnant water.

GO NAVY!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Saturday, July 8, 2006

Women Drivers

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to swerve onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I always smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traff ic and here's why: I drive 48 miles each way every day to work; that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way are bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4,000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.

That means that every single day, I drive past at least one female who has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? .... I don't think so!!!!!!!

Friday, July 7, 2006

Valuable

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.
Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:

LOSE ONE.

Make sure you tell all your friends and family members that you love them and remember to hold on tight to the ones you Love

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Pacman

Sorry folks... I've been preoccupied with other things lately, I've been a bad blogger :( Lots of changes coming up in my life, so bare with me :P

But for now, I will share this with you all!! YAY!!