Cellphones

Hey YOU!!!! Read this sign!!!!!

I'll ram your car next time!!! LOL

I *heart* NY

Look closer!

Drunk Friends

Twelve fun things to do with your drunk friends!

Bad Wrap

Mickey D's has been getting a bad wrap lately... I just wanted to say that I still enjoy the chocolate shakes - I just won't eat anything there anymore (unless I'm starving) LOL!!!

I live in HELL!!!!

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 7 times. The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Seventh Level of Hell!

Seventh Level of Hell

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

How to answer the door

Chips

I just wanted to say... you BRITS are weird!!!!! (no offense Big Dipper LOL)

A good friend of mine showed me this web site and I literally felt my stomach churn thinking about some of these potato chip flavors (or crisps as they call them)

Walkers is a maker of crisps over there *points that way over your shoulder* and here are a list of some of those tasty flavors:

Beef & Onion
Cheese & Onion
Heinz Tomato Ketchup
Marmite Yeast Extract
Pickled Onion
Prawn Cocktail
Roast Chicken
Smoky Bacon
Worcester Sauce
Chargrilled Steak & Peppercorn Sauce
Four Cheese & Red Onion
Oven Roasted Chicken & Thyme
Slow Roasted Lamb & Mint
Thai Sweet Chilli
Cool Yoghurt & Mint
Creamy Chicken Pasanda & Coriander
Mango Chutney
Spicy Tandoori Masala Flavour
Honey Glazed Ham

If your stomach isn't churning and you are drooling then I let me help... *HURLS on your foot*

Oh and in case you didn't notice... the crisps called Latinos would cause an uproar here! LOL

*runs to the bathroom with hand covering my mouth*

Worse job ever!

I think this job is even worse than miss urine tester...

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If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work... think of this guy... Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this:

We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.

It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".

Gwen

I kind of have mixed feelings about Gwen Stefani... she is an awesome singer and songwriter. I actually love the stuff she did with No Doubt. And yes, even the song my friends and I affectionately call the "devil song", because once you hear it, you can't get it out of your head. But admittedly, I haven't heard all the songs from her solo album. Yes some of them are catchy, but to me they seem to be missing something - je ne sais quois. Anyway, today I just wanted to say...

Happy Birthday Gwen!!!

Why we have two hands

A classic, but a good one :)

Why girls have two hands...

Why boys have two hands...