Prepare to DIE...

... laughing LOL :P

I had too much fun playing with this site... there are others pictures there you can modify like an Uncle Sam poster or your very own dictionary entry. Have fun! hehe

Rubber Duck Odyssey

Shamelessly copied and pasted from Skynews

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Hundreds of rubber ducks are expected to appear off the coast of Cornwall - having been afloat at sea for the past 15 years.

The wayward bath toys have covered 17,000 miles since they accidentally fell overboard in the Pacific Ocean during a storm in January, 1992.

They were among a consignment of 28,800 plastic ducks, beavers, turtles and frogs that were being taken from Hong Kong to Washington State in the US.

Seattle oceanographer Curtis Ebbesmeyer has been monitoring the toys as a means of mapping ocean currents.

He is interested to see where they come ashore, with some of the toys apparently having reached the east coast of America.

The Daily Express quoted him as saying: "It's now inevitable that they will get caught up in the Atlantic currents and will turn up on English beaches.

"Cornwall and the South West will probably get the first batch of them."

If a toy is returned to the manufacturer the finder can claim a £50 reward.

But the ducks are far more valuable if they are sold privately as curiosity items - fetching up to £1,000.

The plastic animals have already reached places as diverse as Indonesia, Australia and South America.

But Alaska has proved a popular washing up point for the washtime toys.

Between 1993 and 2005 Alaska residents Dean Orbison and his son Tyler collected 121 plastic animals as they came ashore near the city of Sitka.

How to escape...

...a fart, the Japanese way

A Cry for Help

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No I can't..There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place for you here."

Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness let me go with you." "Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Love, realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered.

"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Author: Unknown

My first time ever...

It was my first time ever

And I’ll never forget

I’d do it again

Without a single regret.

The sky was dark

The moon was high

We were all alone

Just she and I.

Her hair was soft

Her eyes were blue

I knew just what

She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft

Her legs so fine

I ran my fingers

Down her spine.

I didn’t know how

But I tried my best

I started by placing

My hands on her breast.

I remember my fear

My fast beating heart

But slowly she spread

Her legs apart.

And when I did it

I felt no shame

All at once

The white stuff came.

At last it’s finished

It’s all over now

My first time ever

At milking a cow…

NOW ALL YOU DIRTY MINDED PEOPLE GET BACK TO WORK..

Zombies need love too....

... from bullets, exploding barrels, mines and rockets! MUWAAHAAAHAA